A Poor But Successful Scheme
by Underworld's-Reject
Summary: "This creature should not be upon you Dean," the angel stated forcefully, glaring at the little cat once more. Dean stiffened and glanced down at it warily. "Oh Jesus," he groaned. "Tell me we're not dealing with Demon Kitty here or something!" -This line is somewhat edited for the purposes of the summary. Slash.


Summary: S5 fic. Slash. Destiel. "This creature should not be upon you Dean," the angel stated forcefully, glaring at the little cat once more. Dean stiffened and glanced down at it warily. "Holy shit," he groaned. "Tell me we're not dealing with Demon Kitty here or something!"

**Disclaimer: None of this is mine.**

**Warnings: Slash, swearing, kissing, borrowing a cat (well, it's a kitten really) and mentions of some woman who has her cat/Kitten staying with her in her motel room when she probably shouldn't have…**

**AN: So…I wanna do some nice Destiel stuff, you know. I've been debating having a CasCat for a while (as in Cas being turned into a cat) but I've decided not to do that yet. Still, this does feature a cat. And some weird Winchester scheming. And some Destiel getting together because of jealousy of the cat. Not majorly serious. Dom Cas. Somewhere in S5 I guess. **

**/**

Dean glanced up from hoard of newspaper cuttings which were scattered across the discoloured and slightly stained oak table as the motel room door opened, Sam stepping in with a bag of groceries about a second later. The younger Winchester gave him a nod of greeting. He held the door open with his foot and glanced down the corridor expectantly for a moment. Dean raised his eyebrows at this, wondering if they were going to be having company and if so who the hell? He was about to demand an answer, but closed his mouth in shock as a small fluffy dark brown kitten with wide piercing blue eyes padded into the room. He glanced between the animal and Sammy in shock as his brother closed the door. Sam smirked.

"Oh, don't mind him," he said, strolling over to the table and dumping the back down on an unused piece of space. He delved his hands inside, slowly pulling out a variety of objects; a box of protein bars, chalk, salt, bandages, a couple of small tins of fish and some bottles of water and some more beers. He carefully begun to file the groceries away, shoving the latter three purchases into the mini fridge whilst his brother watched him in confusion. He rolled his eyes. "Dean, I didn't buy him or anything, okay? I got talking to some woman downstairs on my way out earlier and she asked me to watch the cat later whilst she 'popped out.' She was kinda hot and this little guy just wouldn't let me say no." The feline let out a tiny mewl as though realising that he was the brothers current topic of conversation and begun to rub himself around the younger Winchester's legs. Dean smirked.  
"Dude, you've been had. You could've made some money outta this. 'Sam Winchester- cat watcher.' Maybe you should make this a regular thing. And chuck in dog walker too. Those things would look great on your resume," he mocked as his brother carefully stepped around the kitten with a small smile that was directed at the animal as opposed to him. "Seriously though…You do realise that just 'cause she asked you to watch the little dude it don't mean she wants to have sex with you or anything, right?"  
"Screw you Dean," the younger brother said with a roll of his eyes. "Not everyone has a one track mind. I know her asking me to watch the cat doesn't mean she wants to hook up with me and I'm cool with that. I was just bein' nice."  
"You've got a lot to learn Sammy," Dean informed him, chucking his brother a condescending smirk as the cat sat on the floor near the table, his head tilted slightly to the side and his eyes dancing around curiously. He frowned at the small creature, finding its mannerisms almost a little familiar. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I got no signs of a case yet...So maybe in the morning after we've got rid of this little bundle of fur, how's about we just head onto some town and see if we can find something that fits onto our usual bill of freakish and insane?"

"Sure," the younger brother agreed with an amused nod. "For now though, you can get acquainted with our friend." He smirked as Dean shook his head. Before his brother could release any verbal protests though, he scooped the kitten up and placed him down on the table in front of him. Dean glared at him.  
"Sam, I don't want the cat. The dude's yours for tonight," he pointed out, unable to hold back a smirk when the small feline sat down straight on the newspaper page he'd been looking out, studying him intently and chirping softly. He reached out carefully and scratched the cat behind his ears, the small animal leaning into his hand. "Alright man. Everybody knows your cute, okay? Bet you're gonna have all the girl cats fallin' at your fee- _paws_ when you're a little older."  
"Dean," Sam said with a roll of his eyes. "You're talking to a cat, not a kid."  
"Sorry I thought they were one in the same." The younger Winchester shook his head, unamused by the sarcastic retort. However, when the little cat leapt onto his brother's lap he was unable to prevent a wide grin from slipping onto his face. Dean blinked and frowned down at the animal. "Well, hey there." He watched as the feline stared at him once more and felt that web of recognition again.

"You know Sammy, it's really weird but this cat kinda reminds me of Cas. The eyes, the fur, the awkward stares, you know?"  
"Really?" the younger brother asked, raising his eyebrows and feigning surprise. Dean nodded and watched the kitten a little suspiciously. "Well, sorry Dean but I just don't see it." He repressed a smirk and slipped his phone out, glancing at the time. Right, well he'd left to go to the store a couple of hours ago, and then he'd made the call. So….The person who he'd spoken to should be arriving in… somewhere between half an hour and an hour, on his instruction. Still, maybe they'd come earlier and that fact wouldn't surprise him at all. And then they'd find Dean, all close and cheerful with the cat and hopefully things would go…According to plan. "Oh, I dunno man. All I'm saying is, there's a bit of similarity. If this guy didn't have a name, I'd suggest friggin' calling him Catstiel," the elder Winchester commented, chuckling shamelessly at his own joke. Sam snickered somewhat mockingly.  
"Catstiel? Seriously? How long did it take you to come up with that one?"  
"About two seconds," Dean retorted smoothly, not even glancing up from where he was now stroking the kitten. Like an evil villain or something, Sam noticed with amusement. And the little fella was just purring away. Dean seemed to have no clue that _he'd_ actually asked the girl if he could 'watch her cat', nor that he'd been up to a little bit of sneaky business whilst out at the store and nor that he actually had some crazy half thought through little scheme thing in motion right now that he may or may not eventually find to have been an entire waste of time. He doubted that would be the case though, because he knew his brother. And because he sort of knew Cas- the one who he'd called and was going to be the unknowing (very much so) secondary victim involved in his little plan. Still, they would both thank him later if he was successful. Probably not literally though.

"So, let me get this straight," Dean said glancing at up his brother, despite the fact that his hand didn't still in stroking the purring half dozing kitten "Some chick just asked you out of the blue as you were on your way to get groceries to watch her kitten later? And you agreed?"  
"Uh-huh," Sam agreed, swiping aside some papers and grabbing his laptop. He slipped it out of the case, placing it down on the surface and started it up. He may as well do something useful whilst he waited. "Well, no. Not quite actually. I had a little chat with her yesterday whilst you were asleep and she was all worried, 'cause the rules state no pets are allowed. And yeah, we just had a little conversation. Then today as I was on my way out, she stopped me. We had another little chat and _then_ she asked me to watch her cat. That's all. It's not exactly the weirdest thing we've ever been asked to do man."  
"I guess not," the elder Winchester replied sceptically, his tone suggesting that he believed his brother wasn't telling him the whole story but he didn't call him up on it. He didn't care. This whole chilling with a baby cat thing was surprising therapeutic. They'd never really ever had pets. Just like, full stop. He still didn't want one long term though. Too much hassle and too much to worry about. They had enough concerns in their life. Laughter from Sam suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. "What's with you?"  
"Do you want me to leave you two alone, like give you the room or something?" the younger brother goaded with a wide smirk on his face.

"You're hilarious," Dean said with a roll of his eyes. He smirked, a better comeback slipping into his mind about a second later. "But what would you be doing whilst I'm with this guy then, watching Casa Erotica 5?"  
"I prefer 7, actually," the younger Winchester retorted smoothly, grinning. Dean inclined his head in agreement as an approving smirk slipped onto his face.

"You got that right there man. 7 is so much better. I think 5 was a bit of a weak point for them really." Sam shook his head in slight disbelief.  
"You would know, wouldn't you Dean? You must've studied them all frame by frame." The elder Winchester opened his mouth to deliver some witty retort but that idea quickly flew out of his head when Castiel appeared beside the table. He started slightly; the movement rousing the kitten from his slumber, who slowly sat up and glanced around curiously. "Well…Hey Cas."  
"Hello," Castiel acknowledged, his expression furrowing in confusion as he spotted the small animal sitting on the elder Winchester's lap. "Dean…You have a young feline sat upon you."  
"I know, thank you," Dean shot back with a smirk. "Some chick asked Sam to watch him."  
"And apparently he's taken a bit of a shine to Dean," Sam chuckled as the kitten started rubbing his head against his brother's stomach affectionately.  
"So it would seem," the celestial agreed, his cobalt eyes narrowing in irritation.  
"So, Cas what's up?" Dean enquired, grinning down at the little cat. Sam glanced at Castiel and slowly shook his head in an attempt to convey the fact that he didn't wish for the angel to reveal why he was truly here. Castiel stared at him in confusion for a moment, before returning his attention to Dean.

"Sam phoned earlier and requested that I came within a certain time period. However, I was concerned so I came earlier. But…Nothing appears to be wrong…"  
"Oh did he really?" Dean asked, glaring at his brother whilst the angel nodded. "And why's that Sam?"  
"No reason really. I just figured it had been a while since, er, Cas was last around and I just thought…You know, he should flap on down," Sam lied, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I hope you weren't busy or anything Cas."  
"I was not…" the angel countered, scrutinizing the younger brother as though trying to understand his intentions. After a moment he gave up his attempts and returned his gaze to Dean and the small cat. It was ridiculous, but he felt jealous of this feline. He did not share a bond with the man and yet Dean was willing to show affection to it immediately. Well, he had instantly decided that this small cat did not receive his approval. No. He didn't like this little cat. It was rubbing itself all over Dean like it believed it had some kind of ownership. The creature was wrong. He failed to notice Sam watching him in satisfaction, a small smirk onto his face. He was too busy glaring at the kitten. However, he quickly hid his annoyance and slight jealousy behind a mask of indifference when the elder Winchester glanced over at him.

"D'you like cats, Cas?"  
"No," the celestial half growled, glaring the feline once more who stiffened slightly and jumped down from the elder Winchester's lap and padded over to Sam, beginning to rub around his legs once more. Sam smirked as his brother rolled his eyes and glanced back down at some of the newspapers. He reached under the table and scooped the kitten up onto his own lap. Well, this was interesting. He'd caught the hostility and jealousy in Castiel's face before it had vanished. He'd been pretty much certain of Cas' feeling for his brother for a very long time now and had some strong suspicions that Dean felt the same. Only time would tell, but he had an idea of how to speed things along a little.

"Hey Dean," he said, scooping the kitten into his arms and standing up. He headed over to his brother and carefully deposited the cat in question of his lap. Dean raised his eyebrows quizzically. "I think he likes you better dude. You might as well keep him with you for most of the night." Out of the corner of his eye, Sam spotted the angel visibly bristle but Dean didn't notice because he was too busy smirking at the kitten that was rubbing against him again.

"No," Castiel growled, taking them both by surprise though Dean more so than Sam. The elder Winchester glanced up, frowning in confusion. "No? Cas, what's wrong dude?"  
"This creature should not be upon you Dean," the angel stated forcefully, glaring at the little cat once more. Dean stiffened and glanced down at it warily.  
"Holy shit," he groaned. "Tell me we're not dealing with Demon Kitty here or something!" Sam snickered softly whilst Castiel slowly shook his head, his eyes flashing in annoyance.  
"No, Dean. The feline is not possessed by any supernatural creature. It is not tainted, but it still should not be in such proximity with you."  
"Why?" Dean asked, relieved at the fact that he didn't have a hell cat on him. In the blink of an eye, Castiel was standing beside him. He jumped in shock and glared at the angel.  
"Don't frigging do that, you ass!" Castiel ignored him and carefully scooped up the kitten, hurriedly handing it back to Sam as though he didn't want to remain in contact with the feline. Dean sighed in frustration and hurriedly stood up.  
"Cas, what is wrong with you-"  
"Be quiet," the angel ordered, interrupting his protests rather suddenly. Dean glared at him and opened his mouth to speak once more, but he never got the chance. Castiel grabbed him around the waist, pulling him close and pre-emptively silencing him with a kiss. The elder Winchester stiffened in surprise before he melted into the kiss and eagerly responded. The angel deepened it, dominating his mouth almost immediately and tightening his grip possessively. With no further warning he slammed Dean against a nearby wall, a slight growl emanating from his chest.

Neither of them noticed Sam grinning and uncharacteristically punching the air. Nor did they spot him standing with the kitten and slowly heading towards the door. No, they had no idea that they'd just been part of a poorly constructed, weak and crazy idea to get them together. Just like they didn't know that it had been a success.


End file.
